The bright shining soul
by Amu4ever
Summary: I always tried to be good. To help others. To be the perfect little daughter. So why don't they come for me? Why am I still lonely. It's dark. So very dark. It's getting colder and colder as the seconds go by. I slowly get numb as I try to ignore the mocking image in front of me...why? oh why...? SM owns everything except the plot. Rated M for later chapters!
1. Lonely

Hehe…so I won't tell you the pairing right from the start. Don't worry you will figure it out soon.

But I will tell you one thing: It will be a pairing, that is not really common and in my opinion totally underappreciated.

So have fun reading

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_I am lonely…so very lonely._ _Why is no one here….Why am I all alone? Do they not care about me? Don't they need me like I need them? Don't they want me? But why? So lonely…I am so very lonely. It's freezing cold here and it's dark. Too dark. I am afraid. I feel like someone is watching me and nobody is here to protect me. They are not here to protect me. But why? Why? What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough? Why won't they come for me? I am a good girl always tried to help others and help wherever I could. I never had a childhood or at least not for long. As soon as we left my father I couldn't be a child any longer. I needed to act like the mother. Care for my mother and protect her like she was supposed to do with me. But she didn't. Never did. Lonely…so lonely…_

_Why are they not here to take care of me? Why don't they hold me in their arms telling me, that everything was going to be fine? Why am I alone? Am I not good enough? I went to my father to help my mother be happy. I gave my own happiness for hers. Left all my friends behind. Everyone I knew there. I was happy to see my father again sure, but to be completely honest I only did it for her. I only went to him for her. Like I always did. Always trying to be good to help to be the perfect little daughter. So why don't they come for me? Why am I still lonely. It's dark. So very dark. It's getting colder and colder as the seconds go by. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Because the intense feeling of loneliness is slowly taking over. Freezing me in place and make curl even further into myself. It's so cold and it still gets colder. I slowly begin to get numb. Trying to look away from the mocking image in front of me. Their beautiful smile and outstretched hands are not really there. I know this. Had to learn it the hard way. The image is just mocking me trying to get me to touch it only for it to vanish. I can't bear it…it's so cold …I am so lonely…where are they? _

_Where are you? Please come…come and save me…I am so lonely so afraid…Please…PLEASE! __**I need you! PLEASE!**__...please…oh…__**please**__…_


	2. My little secret

Thanks Babysis34 your review really motivated me. So here is the next chapter as a big Thank you for your encouraging words :)

Have fun reading everyone =)

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I wake up to the steady sound of beeping. I am still tired and my fussy mind can't comprehend, what is going on around me. I feel numb. Not like the kind of numb when you sit too long neither the feeling you get after being outside for too long no just a prickling numbness. I listen to the beeping as I slowly get the feeling back into my limbs. I am still too tired to move either way so it doesn't matter for now. I hear a door opening and footsteps approaching me. Someone is standing beside me rustling with something and then I am back in the blackness from before.

The next time I wake up I can feel my limbs, painfully so. I am aching all over and I have a burning headache. And again there is the beeping sound. Slowly I try to open my eyes and after the third time I finally manage to do so. At the beginning everything seems blurred together before my eyes focus again. I look around confused. I am in a completely white room machines are standing beside me. The beeping sound obviously coming from a heartmonitor, which is right beside the bed I am lying in. But how did I get here? And even better, why did I even need to get here? Blinking confused I try to remember, what happened, but I come up with a blank. Still to tired to really gain enough focus to be able to really think back. Sighing I close my eyes again waiting for sleep to take my body under control. Just as I am on the edge to falling asleep and my breathing starts to even out I hear the door to my room being opened again. Forcing myself to stay awake I open my eyes again looking at the blonde doctor, who is smiling down at me. "Oh…good to see, that you are finally awake. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I am your doctor. How do you feel?" Too tired to speak for a long period of time I only say, that I am fine and only have a slight headache and feel generally a bit achy and wait for his reaction.

nods writes something in my file before looking up again. "You are most likely quiet confused right now and probably even have problems recollecting, what happened. But don't worry, this is only temporary. You will be able to remember everything just fine as soon as you slept for some time." He comes over to the bed I am lying in and busies himself with the machines for some time before turning back to me. "We found you in an ally covered in bruises, cuts and hypothermic. You were lucky, that someone found you and called the ambulance in time. Otherwise lasted damage could have been done." He looks at the file again and then back up to my face. "Rest for a while. Your body still needs to recover." I close my eyes again not certain when I opened them in them in the first place. I let my thoughts drift as I slowly near dreamland. Hmmm…I am really curious to hear the answer from my mind, how I got into the ally before I was found.

Bright light welcomes me as I open my eyes the next time. Wincing I furrow my brow trying to adjust my eyes to the light. I look out of the window seeing that the bright light is surprisingly coming from the clouded sky. So I was out for at least several hours considering the only sources of light at that time were the lambs above me. I concentrate on my body and systematically try to move my limbs one after another. Finally sighing in relief after realizing that nothing is broken and that moving only hurts a little. Probably just bruises and cuts like the doctor said. Nothing serious. Except for hypothermia, which was just a problem at the time they found me and not anymore. I will probably get out of the hospital in no time at all. Just as I was thinking that came into the room again. The soft smile on his lips like the last times I saw him. "So, Miss, do you remember everything again?"

I think about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I remember walking along the street on my way to the grocerie store. As you probably know I only came to Forks a few days ago and so I wanted to look around the town and get a few things for supper for the evening. Charlie, my father, was not at home at that time and still isn't, because he needed meet with a friend out of town, who had an urgent matter he required his help with. As I was just around the corner to the shop I intended to go to someone put his hand on my mouth from behind and dragged me into an ally. I tried to escape his grasp and kicked him, but not before he was able to put a tissue with some substance over my mouth and nose, which let me feel dizzy. I still managed to defend myself pretty well until he suddenly ran away after he heard people approaching. I remember, that he worried for nothing since the people just went by without noticing me, but then I was on the floor. After that everything got fuzzy." He nods again and tells me, that I will be released from the hospital the next day.

The next morning the sky is as cloudy as ever and I slowly change into normal clothes again the heartmachine gone since a long time ago. I go out of my room and to the nurse station to fill out the necessary papers before going out of the hospital. As I walk outside and start on my way home I think about the lies I told Carlisle. I feel guilty. Oh so guilty for not telling him everything.

_But then again I didn't want to tell him. Still don't want to. It's going to be a secret. My little secret…they are my little secret…just mine…__**forever**__…_


	3. Feelings

So here is an chapter I put an extra portion of creativity and devotion in!**  
**

I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I loved to write it :)

Thanks for the reviews!

And now have fun!

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_Gentle fingers are caressing my skin. I can feel the continuing stroking in every cell of my body. The rhythmical movement relaxing me completely. S soft whisper fills my ear as loving words are purred directly to my heart. A warm feeling is spreading in me as my love and devotion for this hands, this voice, this person rise in unknown highs. A chaste kiss is planted on my head as I am pulled into a strong embrace. Feeling relaxed and hundred percent content I lean into the hug wanting more of the heat to envelop my body. I feel safe. So safe. I want to stay here in this arms. Near this voice._

_The scent of grass and flowers overwhelms my senses as I try to cuddle deeper into this strong arms. Birds are singing their beautiful song in the background as I try to take in as much as possible of this situation. So I will be able to remember even the smallest detail. There is the sound of wind slowly caressing trees and I can even hear the sound of flawing water in the distance. Soothing me as I lie on the floor with the arms still around me. Warmth flows through through me as I lie there on the ground letting sunbeams caress my body. A gentle touch to my face gaines my attention as I slowly open my eyes. I blink a few times against the bright sun light before looking up in the even brighter eyes of them. A gentle smile graces my lips as I look up at their smiling faces. My whole surrounding getting even brighter at their enlightening happy faces. They are always so beautiful when they smile. It's like seeing the first rays of sunlight in the morning or stars at an especially clear night. Their whole posture talking about love and absolute bliss. I look into their eyes again immediately captured by the fascinating sparkle in them. Their eyes so very different and still similar. _

_I look down from their faces to their outstretched hands. I look up to see them suddenly standing in front of me. Their hands still outstretched to me. Their skin still shining brightly. I hold my hand out slowly moving it centimeter for centimeter closer to them. I stop just before touching them. I know, what will follow, but I still can't resist. I look up to their loving eyes before closing the distance between our hands. I feel their hands in mine and then….nothing. They are gone. Leave me alone…alone…alone…alone... _

I startle awake with tears streaming down my cheeks. I curse as I whip the cold sweat from my forehead. I know, what happened. I know it just too good. The oh-so-familiar feelings start to rush through me as I remember the same dream, that has kept me awake for months now. It is always the same. **They** are always the same. The beautiful creatures, that not only haunt me in dreamland, but also when awake. Their soft features always there as soon as I close my eyes. Like their faces have been printed on the inside of my lids. It's a sweet torture really. Seeing them all the time, but not being able to touch them, hold them, feel them. It's kind of ridiculous, how much I miss them without having met them once. Except for all this times I have seen them in my dreams of course.

I think back to my latest encounter with them. It gets clearer…it has gone clearer for some time now. Every night I can see a bit more, feel a bit more or even hear a bit more. It's always a similar scene, but it gets more intense with every day. Since my time in the hospital I can barly think about anything, but them. The problem with this is, that I know it is not like it seems. It's not just a dream. They are not just a dream. Not part of my imagination at all. Neither are most of my previous dreams. I have figured out at a young age, that I am "special". I have abilities others haven't. Like this "dreams" for example. Whatever happens in my dreams tends to happen in reality too. This good things as well as the bad, but they don't always happen in the same order. I found out about that after an unpleasant event in my childhood. Since then I always listen to my dreams. Try to figure out, what they mean and prepare for it. It's not always easy, but I manage. But this one dream was different. I knew immediately, what it meant. I need to find them. They need to find me. Because we belong together. Are meant to be. Our fate is entangled together as we share the same future. I close my eyes letting the same words flood my mind as on the night I first awoke from this dream.

_They are my mates as I am theirs.  
Never alone after we begin to share_.

No need to search to be found.  
My heartbeat will be their souls only sound.

And should it stop then I won't whine,  
because blood will be my delicious wine.

We shall be together and never apart,  
so it may beat the unbeating heart.


End file.
